19 May 2008   Reviews

Oh my…PROM NIGHT

I just returned from my favorite cinema of choice watching PROM NIGHT and…and I simply have to write this down immediately so I don’t explode while sleeping.

In short: this movie is bad. Not trashy bad but bad bad.

Brittany Snow plays a perfect Miss Teen you would imagine immediately as soon as I combine the words cute, nice, blond and chick. Up to this everything seems fine as Miss Virgin soon goes to the prom night of her high school. But of course she has a dark past: her parents were killed by Mr. Cliché Killer some years ago because he was stalker you don’t want in your neighborhood, and her teacher as far as I remember. Talk about paranoia. And you know what? Three days before this mentioned prom night of Mrs. Perfect Mr. Psycho escapes from his prison and goes to a teen hunting tour because not only he’s still obsessed by her, but also his wall still has not enough heads hanging on it.

You can imagine the rest. Believe me: every cliché you could come up with is there. Screaming and hysterical girls. Stupid girls. Unharmed girls. Dead girls. And dead boys. Killed by a guy with a knife. In a hotel full of people. Combined with the usual killer-revealing-shots-through-mirrors, shadows-walking-by, the-killer-standing-there-watching-the-girl-and-vanishing-suddenly and so on.

You know, this movie could have been fun. Really. At least if the writer J.S. Cardone (ALIEN HUNTER, SNIPER 3) would have known of these clichés or better thought of something new. I think this movie is a fine example of scriptwriting in which the author truly didn’t know his world and his characters. As a result he simply wrote down everything he knew from Halloween to Silence of the Lambs. There was not one single scene, I repeat, not one single scene that remotely felt scary, fresh or thrilling.

Here is one example of this writing quality: in an exposition scene we are presented with the way the bad guy escaped the hight security prison. OK, at least he didn’t use the laundry. He escaped through a vent. You know, there might be prisons in the world that have easy to access vents in the cells, but last time I checked Discovery Channel, they have a slightly better security than the example in this movie. Oh boy…

But it’s even far worse than that. Almost every scene in which the characters talk is horrid. There is no big subtext or something else going on. Admitted, this is not something you’d expect from a slasher movie. On the other hand, this doesn’t mean you’re free to write something not adequate or good. There is no tension, no growth, nothing. The characters talk shallowly and they mean it. Each time one “dialog” kicked in I thought of a saying I read some time ago: when the scene is about what the scene is about, you’re in deep shit. This movie is a wonderful proof of that, banned on celluloid for your viewing pleasure in years to come.

so, what can I say in the end? If you want to learn how not to write and direct a movie, give this one a go and watch it. If you want to watch a good trash movie, you might like this one (although I highly doubt that). And if you want to watch a nice slasher movie, don’t do it, and save your time. If you want to watch a good movie, stay away from this one and treat it like the plague.

Last but not least, there is one thing I want to write to all the people who worked on this one: sorry for this harsh writing and better luck next time.

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