Ten surefire ways to build a successful Top Ten List

While thinking about a cool blog post I remembered Digg and a certain way to fill space when you don’t know what to do: lists. You know, the ultimate tip of any aspiring blog about Blog Tips.

So here we are, with a funnily epic list of ten unusual ways to create a Top Ten List for your (movie) blog.

All examples are reserved for me, otherwise I will smash you with a magazine containing all Top Ten Lists ever posted on the net. If you were faster, I will smash myself

  • 10. Make me Die from Laughter

    monty-python-killing-jokeIf you want a girlfriend, be funny. If you want blog readers, be funny. Humor is the best way to break the ice, and in all this boring stuff out there, a funny Top Ten List is always read. Be warned though: once your readership is dead from laughter you have to constantly rebuild it again or delete your post after some days. Remember Monty Python? Not funny!

    Examples: “Top Ten Movie Jokes of all Time”, “The Ten most Epic movie laughs” and [I so have no idea].

  • 9. Weirdness for the win

    Make a list about unusual things or ideas that you never read before. Chances are high that it might be forgotten after ten minutes, but when you have a hit, it stays.

    “The Ten scariest Pets since Beethoven”, “Top Ten funniest Catastrophe Movies” and “Top Ten Movies to ruin your Relationship” are some examples.

  • 8. Ugly is the new Beautiful

    batman-foreverThere is nothing more boring than listing nice and beautiful things. Everyone does that as Digg proves day after day. So go the opposite way: be ugly. Or better: list ugly things.

    “The Ten best Van Damme Movies”, “Top Ten Leslie Nielsen flicks since 2003″ or “Top Ten moments from BATMAN AND ROBIN” come to mind.

  • 7. Stupidity is the winner

    There is a reason that so many movies use characters which are helplessly beyond stupidity. It is because we can laugh about them and feel so much better with our ten brain cells.

    Examples? “Top Ten most stupid Statements by Famous Actors”, “The Ten most Stupid Movie Roles ever” and “Top Ten Movies I didn’t understand”.

  • 6. Put everything in Lists

    Do you have a cold? Make a List of the ten worst colds ever. Have seen a movie with an actor you hate? Put it in a list. With this method chances are high that at least one will get you high amount of traffic. But be warned: if your blog doesn’t have anything else to offer you are out of luck.

    Examples: “The Top Ten movies I have seen last week”, “The Top Ten Reasons why I sleep after a movie”. The winner of them all: “The Top Ten Top Ten Lists” (the most essential recursive list ever)

  • 5. Crazyland

    nicholsonIn one episode of the THE SIMPSONS Homer begs for money so he can buy something for Marge. He gets the advice from a poor guy telling him that there are four types of begging. Impersonating a fundamentalist is one, as is being simply crazy. Being crazy works, as Homer then wonderfully shows us.

    “Top Ten Movies I sleep with”, “Ten Reasons why this is not the case” or “My Top Ten Movie Fantasies” come to mind.

  • 4. Controversy to the flame

    When all people agree, they most often do nothing. When they disagree they act. When they really disagree they flame and bring their friends. And sometimes some guys come along the way – and agree.

    Here are some classic examples to get all the fanboys flaming and your traffic raising: “Thirty Reasons Why Apple in Movies sucks”, “Top Fifty Reasons why Geeks in Movies Suck”, “Top Ten Reasons why [enter something here] suck”.

  • 3. Spoof, tease and more

    This is a different take to the controversy kind of lists. You spoof fans or lovers for what they love. Here you have to walk a fine line to not end in the controversy territory, unless you add yourself to the crowds being spoofed.

    Examples: “Top Ten Star Wars Costumes for True Fans”, “Top Ten Baby Movies watched by Adults” and “Top Ten Fan Love Letters to Robin”.

  • 2. Sex sells

    halle-berry-swordfishWho from the male audience still knows PASSWORD  SWORDFISH? Ok, you can put down your hands. Do you still remember the scene with Halle Berry’s boobs? Great.

    Ok, who from the female audience still knows the moment in CASINO ROYALE, when Daniel Craig showed us his wet body? Wonderful!

    I think I don’t have to write anything else. Sex does sell. And don’t you dare to think I give you some examples.

  • 1.  Mix everything above

    In these times of lists, the best way to leave an impression is to mix and shake all nine categories. This way you and the reader have fun for eternity.

    “Ten Reasons why Angelina’s nude body sucks” or “Top Ten Nude Star Wars Fans” are good examples, although I am not sure to which categories the last example belongs best…

    Now that I think about it, this last example might be the ultimate list of all lists ever. Weirdness? Check! Ugly? Check! Controversy? Check! Spoof? Check! Sex? Check! Makes me die from Laughter?

    Hell, yes, Check!!

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