Just a little rant about Monsters vs. Aliens (Review)

I just came back from my voyage to a world full of 3D animated figures posing as humans and monsters. After some thought I can say that I liked it, nothing more, nothing less. It was nice movie but nothing I would kill for or watch again – which is really sad because it blew so many chances.

Monsters vs. Aliens (MvA), dear writers, had the chance to really gain some land against the gods called Pixar and do some extremely funny and stylish stuff but unfortunately the result fails in some ways too often.

You know, it’s not that the movie didn’t have some good laughs and good moments. Hell, it had a lot of them. Many moments made me smile or chuckle. I love the 50s style that is everywhere and I love this idea of taking many sci-fi movie from the past and melting them together.

Dear writers, you already had this cool and funny stuff. Even more, you had Kiefer Sutherland with some fantastic voice acting. But then you decided to screw up. Again. It’s not that you cannot write. It’s simply that you sometimes cannot stop writing while you take only one step with the story. You seem to think that too less is bad and too much is the exact amount.

The beginning of the “couple” scene is a perfect example. I loved every moment of it and the “It’s just like dancing, I’ll lead” dialogue. It was great. And the “Thank goodness, it’s the police” was the icing on the cake.

Or take the moment when a hand literally from nowhere came into the frame and gave the President a cup of water while he goes up the stairs to meet the alien robot. Or take the moment shortly afterwards in which the President wrongly plays the tune from Encounter of the Third Kind. I loved it.

And I really loved so many other moments which would take some time to name.

But for each good or even great moment you seemed to decide to add just the same amount of crappy ones. Sometimes only seconds apart. Why did you for example write this shit of the President playing the Axel Foley theme? Why??!! Why couldn’t you write the scene in that way that the P. plays the tune and then for example rants at the nerds and geeks sitting in front of the PC doing their nerdy, sci-fi stuff and coming up with an idea that obviously couldn’t work? Why did you have to go overboard? And in a shitty way above all that?

Did you think we wouldn’t find the small joke funny enough? Or did you really think this is great? Please tell me! The same goes for this red button shit later in the movie. It’s too obvious and too stupid. Why did you not go Pixar and let him find the one button in a myriad of similar ones?

And why didn’t you go full out with your story, in other words totally crazy, like the other guys did on Fooly Cooly for example? Why did you have to write this standard, worn-out story full of clichés of accepting yourself as you are (now) and yadda yadda yadda. I cannot hear it anymore. It was nice the first twenty or so times, but come on, it’s been done to death and put to rest, especially after Shrek and Fantastic Four. Of course, MvA a movie aiming for younger audiences (which is either strange or schizophrenic considering many jokes are aimed for the older movie audience with some background knowledge) but let me repeat it again: It’s. Been. Done. To Death.

It’s really a shame you didn’t use this wonderful chance to fully go out. You could have mashed up all those old cliché ridden Sci-Fi movie stories into one awesome hell of a ride with pure craziness, awesomness and style. Sometimes you even did that, for example the woman screaming constantly in the background in the scene when the General presents the monsters to the Strangelove-cast.

But sadly, although you have those great short moments you blew this chance. Instead of the innovative way you went the easy, the standard way of storytelling. Instead of timing jokes perfectly and stopping them while they’re good you went overboard.

It seems that I have to wait for Pixar to deliver their next movie and you to finally get your act together. Again.


'Mediocre' animated in standard 3D visuals.

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