madmind

Do you want to know how to know if a movie is mediocre at best and an unimaginable pile of shit at worst?

Of course there are many ways to spot one of those “movies” out there. If you read stuff about movies, many authors of screenwriting books tell you that it takes 10 to 15 minutes until you know if the movie is good or not.

While that is true, there’s an even faster way. And it only takes one minute - if at all.

So, what is this almighty method of bad movie spotting? It’s simple; in fact it almost is too simple because the only thing you have to look out for is:

Voice Over Narration.

And if you think about it, it’s pure logic.

Voice Over Narration the cheapest way of telling a story and advancing a plot, in fact, it’s the screenwriter’s capitulation of his own work.

He had absolutely no imagination or any creative spark to convey some minor information to the audience other than by simply letting the main character read it over some pretty but useless moving pictures.  Sometimes the main character tells you his name and occupation, other times the character even tells you his inner desires.

The rest is pure and simple logic: if the author didn’t have any ideas to come up with interesting ways to introduce us to characters, settings or situations, the rest of the story/plot most likely is in no way interesting or new.

What makes this situation even worse is the fact that the production company most likely knew this all along. In other words: they knew the story was weak, starting from page one. But they nevertheless went on to produce the movie since the raw material seemed like a good way to milk money off us.

So, if you encounter Voice Over Narration the next time you watch a movie, leave the theater and demand a refund or stop your DVD player because the following most likely will be an epic waste of your precious time.

(Thanks to all the shitfests I had to endure during the last weeks to finally and fully grasp this simple fact.)