South Movie Review
21 Nov 2010   Reviews

South Movie Review

Don’t bother to watch South.

No, it’s really not worth it as harsh as it might sound for the director who presumably worked for 12 goddamn years (!!!!) on that one. You just waste your time. The only redeeming quality of that movie are its wonderfully film noir-ish photographed visuals. But for that I don’t need a movie. A collection of photographs in a museum would’ve been just enough.

It’s utterly amazing, though. For a movie that took twelve fucking years to be completed the plot turned out to be an utterly mess of chaos and nonsense on an epic level I’ve never witnessed before. Even the worst movies up to South at least had a plot I could follow somehow. South even doesn’t offer that. It’s fucking amazing…and a single pain to watch!

From what I could puzzle together South is about a guy on the run after a failed bank robbery. Right in the middle of that chaos he is sent an old book presumably he and his mother filled with contents. The only problem is he doesn’t remember anything from the good old times. So he tries to solve the riddle while some other characters fill up the time.

And so unfolds the mayhem of chaos not one person in the whole audience – me included – could fully comprehend or grasp. South jumps between different times without telling the audience when is when, it jumps from one unnecessary character to the next and cares more about fancy images in dramatically lit black and white imagery than to explain what the fuck is going on. The amount of useless minutes wasted for nothing is mesmerizing. I swear to anything in stark contrasts that I could cut out half of the movie and nobody would notice something’s missing.

Yep, South is on that fucking epic level of wasted time. It not only wastes your lifetime but it wastes half of its own runtime! Kudos to the director for pulling off that shit.

Conclusion

Do yourself a favor: don’t watch this pile of shitty mess. It’s a waste of time. It’s nice photographed but I recommend using Google Images to get a grasp of the visuals. Anything else would be suicidal for your brain.

Avoid South like the plague.

Rating
One of the worst movies I have ever seen.

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