Fantastic Four 2 – Rise of the Silver Surfer: The Movie Review

I’m terribly sorry!

No, I mean it. I really tried it. I honestly tried. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t watch this trainwreck of a movie from start to finish. I endured about one third of the whole movie and I skipped everything else, especially everything regarding that silly marriage and the “drama” surrounding it.

I know that “personal” stuff like marriage or friendship is necessary to flesh out the characters. It also can help to give everything a little bit of drama, as it happened here, or to be more precise, as they tried to create. But there are two problems for me with that stuff in Fantastic Four 2. The first problem is the overall “bleh” feeling I got already after the second minute. Shallow characters  remain shallow, no marriage in the world can fix that. The second problem is the shift of focus. It’s not so much about Earth being completely destroyed by Galactus – which is kind of the worst thing that can happen – but an absolutely silly marriage being disrupted.

I still wonder why the creators decided to add a marriage of all things and all that star fandom surrounding it. This is supposed to be a geeky action superhero movie about dudes and dudettes in tights. Marriage and other soap opera worthy stuff should be avoided like the plague. Such stuff doesn’t fit. Especially a marriage like that with all this “marriage of the century” crap. This trainwreck  proves exactly that point.

I also couldn’t stand all of this superstar lifestyle the fantastic four live. Being a superhero is not all funny and glamorous. You know, I couldn’t stand this lifestyle and famous stars crap in the first movie already. I sincerely hoped this would change a little bit in the second movie because it dealt with the destruction of our planet. But nope, the creators again decided to go all soap opera on us. Though I skipped most of this shit I nevertheless started to hope the planet would finally start to be ripped apart so I don’t have to endure this crap anymore.

The subplot regarding Dr. Doom (one of the silliest names ever) was also hard to bear. I know this guy is evil but there has to be a limit to how a super genius can be stupid. The whole planet was at stake here. He knew it or at least got a feeling of what’s to come but he nevertheless started to fight the Fantastic Four? What was that he wanted to do afterwards? Be the herald of Galactus? And why the heck did the creators reuse Dr. Doom? Is he the only arch enemy of the Fantastic Four? Come on, there has to be another one.

At least the producers did one thing right by changing Galactus. Some fans might hate this change, but they have to admit that the new organic/anamorphous look is way more interesting and intimidating compared to a gigantic dude with a silly magic helmet. Unfortunately the creators made the massive mistake by not completely avoiding the Silver Surfer franchise altogether.

Ardent fans might hate me for this but I always thought that the Silver Surfer comic franchise is one the silliest ever. Just think about it: You have a silver coated guy on a silver surfboard who surfs in space, guiding a massive guy with a silly helmet who goes all Nibelungen by Wagner. Seriously, it cannot get any more ridiculous. This also includes the premise that a godlike but eternally hungry creature needs a little helper to find eatable planets. If someone can enlighten me about how this comic came to be, please do it. I’m still wondering and not sure how anyone could approve something like that.

Hollywood thinks the same because in a time in which they milk every possible superhero comic franchise it’s (not) surprising to see that they still didn’t produce a Silver Surfer movie. In a way the Silver Surfer really fit into Rise of the Silver Surfer, a movie which belongs to a franchise sporting a guy in a silly stone costume. It’s basically silly meets silly. I’m pretty sure the producers used this chance to get over with. So (hopefully) this might be the only time we’ll see that silver guy on the silver screen.

Okay, back to Fantastic Four 2 – Rise of the Silver Surfer… … …

Conclusion

There’s no redeeming quality here. No tension, silly characters, silly setup and execution. Perhaps there are some nice moments in dialogue but the soap opera crap was enough already to let me go all fast forward.

Rating
Silly soap opera superheroes meet silly surfer. The horror.

Comments

  • Must confess that the movie is 1 of the most effective movie but iam the big fan of chris

  • I loved this movie. Thanks for reminding me of it, I will watch it again today :)

  • Love it! I watched that movie now 3 times hahahah :-) ))

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  • I should concede that the silver surfer is my most loved Marvel superhuman of all, so when I heard that they were placing him in a film and a bit was to be a spin-off of the totally disappointing fabulous four, I was profoundly suspicious still, I’m superior to most at isolating print from celluloid and, as long as a motion picture works in its own right, you won’t get my creation yet it didn’t occur like that in the comic.

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