Do you want to know how to know if a movie is mediocre at best and an unimaginable pile of shit at worst? And do you want to spot it fast?

Of course there are many ways to spot one of those “bad movies” out there. You can read reviews in magazines or blogs (like mine). Or you can even read some books about the art of film-making so you spot bad movies faster than the normal movie goer.

While those approaches are all valid and good there’s one easy way that’s amazingly fast. It only takes one minute – if at all. And you don’t have to read any text beforehand.

I just read the post on Slashfilm about the studio’s intervention of the production of Fanboys which is ‘surprising’ and logic at the same time. The studio not only recut the movie many time and wanted to add silly shit, they also removed the core of the story: cancer.

And the reason is as simply as the blue of the skies:

“What they were trying to do was take my movie, our movie, and give it the biggest possible release, and find the biggest possible audience they could.”

Am I the only one who’s fed up with this kind of thinking?

Indiana Jones 5 is Gearing Up

by Gunther Heinrich, 17 Jun 2009 in Movie News The Movie & Me

Initial Thought

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Second Thought

Q: How many Nazis do you need to overcome Indiana Jones?

A: It doesn’t matter! He beats them all to brown pulp!

Third Thought

Why didn’t all movie fans out there pirate this movie off any torrent site, letting it bomb silently so Hollywood spares us this agony…?!

Yep, that’s my brain working night and day to keep me and you entertained…

OK, let’s get serious again…

Stupid German Additional Movie Titles

by Gunther Heinrich, 14 Jun 2009 in The Movie & Me

Finding a good or great movie title is hard work in the movie industry – especially in Germany, as my post about stupid German movie titles and its follow up post have already proven.

Yet, there is a sometimes even better way of movie titling. It’s the German way of the marketing gurus to add additional titles nobody ever needs. Admitted, the additional titles most often are the results of the worst efforts to not only please the movie fan but also the average guy out there at the same time.

Despite those good intentions my beloved German movie titlers still have a unique talent to wreck any title given to them, so the additional titles don’t have to fear any comparison with the worst examples of their big brothers.

Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a lot of agony and fun with the following list of ten stupid additional movie titles you only find in Germany including an appropriate translation.

The Spiral of Shit

by Gunther Heinrich, 2 Jun 2009 in The Movie & Me

You know, slowly but surely Hollywood is starting to be a pain in the ass. Ok, I am the first one to scream, ohm write that moviemaking is risky. A Producer can lose money faster than one might think but it is getting overboard because there are simply too many sequels, remakes and prequels in the works.

As to this sequel madness the last weeks were especially entertaining. Many news made their way to the movie blogs and hence to my RSS reader and there was once a point when I started to believe that this whole thing is a big single joke:

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